‘Marriage Story’ is a Netflix movie that stars Adam Driver as Charlie, a stage director who struggles through a costly divorce from his wife, Nicole, played by Scarlett Johansson. They live in New York with their son Henry performed by Azhy Robertson.

The movie begins with Nicole and Charlie attempting divorce mediation. It failed because the mediator asked them to they write about each other’s best qualities. In the beginning Nicole and Charlie agree to keep the divorce simple and amicable. However, it becomes difficult and complex after Nicole accepts a role in a television show and moves to California with Henry.

Nicole sacrificed her career as a successful film actress so Charlie could establish his career as a stage director. Charlie established a fledgling theatre company and becomes a rising star. In the meantime, Nicole loses her identity as she caters to Charlie’s growing success and as Charlie becomes increasingly self-serving.

Once in California, Nicole hires Nora Fanshaw, a divorce attorney played by Academy Award winning actress, Laura Dern, and initiates a lawsuit against Charlie for divorce. The divorce becomes adversarial. As a result, there are rising tensions, expensive lawyer fees, and an ugly exchange during court proceedings. The story is a series of unfortunate events, because in the end, the couple’s legal settlement is like their original private agreement. ‘Marriage Story’ illustrates how costly, destructive, and emotional divorce litigation is for the parties involved.

 

“Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money,’ but they changed it to ‘alimony.’ It’s ripping your heart out through your wallet.”

– Robin Williams

 

According to Statistics Canada, divorce affected over five million Canadians since 2011. The Divorce Act addresses how married spouses get divorced in Canada. It also addresses child support, spousal support, and the care for children after separation,  On May 22, 2018, the federal government introduced Bill C-78 amending the Divorce Act.  Bill C-78 received Royal Assent on June 21, 2019 and becomes law on July 1, 2020. The purpose for the new legislation is to render federal family law more responsive to families’ needs. Its four objectives are to:

• • • Prompt children’s best interests;
    • Address family violence;
    • Reduce poverty;
    • Make Canada’s family justice system more accessible and efficient.

The amendment encourages the use of alternative dispute resolution to improve outcomes for children and families.  Section 7.3 of the Divorce Act states:

 

To the extent that it is appropriate to do so, the parties to a proceeding shall try to resolve the matters that may be the subject of an order under this Act though a family dispute resolution process.

 

Dispute resolution refers to negotiation, mediation, and or arbitration. These processes are designed to help parties come to an agreement before going through ligation, which by nature, is adversarial.

 

Mediation and Arbitration

Family mediation is an alternative to litigation. It helps the couple to come to a mutual resolution. Couples going through divorce mediation preserve their identity. They make their own decisions.

A combined family mediation-arbitration process is where a couple jointly appoints a mediator who is also an arbitrator. Therefore, if there is an impasse in mediation, they can resort to arbitration to resolve their dispute. Furthermore, the appointed mediator/arbitrator turns resolutions reached in mediation and arbitration into a binding ‘Consent Award’.  An arbitrator’s decision or ‘Award’ is like a court order. It is final and binding.

It is important to note that a family mediator is a facilitator who assists in the complexities of divorce and resulting conflicts. They are discrete, diplomatic, and sensitive to the couple’s situation. They enable negotiation and cooperation to resolve their issues outside of court. Family mediation is conducted face-to-face to ensure clarity between all parties.  In the end, the family mediator helps divorcing couples come to an agreement that is honoured and enforceable.

 

“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.”

– Margaret Atwood

 

In contrast to the beginning of ‘Marriage Story’, discussing each other’s positive attributes is not a realistic approach to mediation. The discussions are not warm and fuzzy. They are difficult and emotional. You must give yourself time to work through the issues and prepare your heart and mind for a healthy discussion on how to unravel the conflict in your relationship. The couple must remain committed to the process. Children benefit from the family dispute resolution process because the divorcing couple come together to work on their problems amicably in the spirit of reconciliation. In the end, alternative dispute resolution is effective because it results in an agreement that is timely, equitable and cost effective.

 

“You can come at it very aggressively and blame and blame and blame.  Or you can put yourself in the garage, so to speak.  Take yourself apart and clean off the bits.  Reassemble.”

– Chris Martin, lead vocalist, Coldplay