In Lewis Carroll’s book, “Through the Looking Glass” Alice ventures through a mirror into an imaginary world filled with illogical behaviour.  The Looking Glass uses social interaction as a “mirror,” where everything is backwards. An imaginative world where nonsense is expected.   Similarly, when there is a family dispute, one’s behaviour can sometimes be illogical and nonsensical.   As a Family Mediator, I recognize that each couple has unique differences.  A Family Mediator is like glasses that help you to see more clearly.  The key difference between a contentious divorce and a peaceful separation is the couple’s ability to resolve conflicts maturely.

Why Family Mediation?

Mediation is designed to efficiently resolve family disputes in a non-adversarial manner.  When a couple uses mediation for divorce, it is important that the mediator is empathetic and professional.  The mediator must be committed to helping them explore options relating to the contentious issues of property division, parenting arrangements, child support, and spousal support.

Family mediators should guide couples through this significant life change and provide support as they navigate the challenges of separation and divorce.  They should also help couples gain a clearer perspective and enable them to address issues that suit their family’s circumstances. They help create a framework for the future—like putting on glasses to see what is ahead of them.

When it’s blurry…

Family Mediators can help couples step back and gain clarity. They facilitate calm discussions and make progress where it was previously difficult to do so.

As a Family Mediator, I have observed many issues that create challenges in marriages and intimate relationships. This includes a lack of respect and recognition, couples who do not enjoy each other’s company, and the inability to communicate effectively.

Sometimes, personality differences can lead to incompatibility, frequent arguments, and criticism.  In some instances, couples are constantly bickering or engage in screaming matches over trivial matters. This makes it difficult to be themselves without fear of judgment.

Often, it is unhappiness that lead partners to act more like roommates. They tolerate each other without finding joy in creating a shared, meaningful life as a couple. This disconnect can sometimes lead to infidelity.

In the backdrop of a familial dispute, it is not uncommon for both spouses to take each other for granted. They struggle to reconnect emotionally, physically, and mentally.  If this is the case, consider seeking the help of a professional Family Mediator who can provide clarity and guidance on how to move forward.

In Summary…

Family Mediators play a crucial role in resolving divorce and separation issues more effectively and rationally. They encourage open dialogue between the parties involved.  They can provide valuable insights and help maintain a positive outlook for the future.  Every couple carries the weight of their past, present, and future, which significantly influences their decision-making.

The better prepared and more aligned in mindset couples are—like wearing a pair of glasses to see better—the smoother the transition from separation to divorce it will be.