Divorce mediation is an alternative to litigation. If you are separating with your spouse or going through divorce, find out why mediation might be right for you.

What do Neil Young, Mariah Carey, Hilary Duff, David Duchovny, Gwenth Paltrow, and Bruce Jenner have in common? Well, if you have glanced at a tabloid in the last year, you would know they are some of the recent celebrities to call it quits. Because they are celebrities, their breakups have been played out in the media for all to see.

Some celebrity divorces are nasty. The divorce between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver comes to mind. Some are expensive. Mel Gibson’s divorce to Robyn Moore in 2009 reportedly cost him $425 million – the largest celebrity settlement to date. Other divorces are emotional and tragic such as Elvis and Pricilla Presley’s, or Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s. They still make headlines today, decades after their breakup.

Divorce is Painful Emotionally and Financially

You don’t have to be a celebrity or read the headlines to know that a marriage breakdown is devastating. It is devastating to the individuals involved, their children, family, friends and employers. As a consequence, the impact of divorce is emotionally and financially traumatic.

Divorce rates are high and we know it. If you were asked how many marriages end in divorce, most of us would say 50%. This statistic is true in the United States. In Canada, it is less than 40%. However, that’s just the national average. Your profession plays a big role in your personal life. Some job professions have divorce rates so high, some think it just comes with the job. Entertainers and athletes have high divorce rates for obvious reasons, but so do nurses, physicians, military personnel, and law enforcement. High stress levels due to long hours and demanding work associated with these career choices make relationship stability harder to maintain. These professions have divorce rates as high as 80%!

Here are some other divorce facts:

• 80% of custodial mothers receive a support award, while only 30% percent of custodial fathers receive one;
• 47% of non-custodial mothers default on support, while only 27% of non- custodial fathers default;
• 75% of children with divorced parents live with their mother;
• 28% of children living with a divorced parent live in a household with an income below the poverty line.

There is a Better Way

Litigation is the conventional method of divorce resolution. Couples seeking divorce are losing confidence in this method. This is because litigation is expensive, adversarial, and unable to cope with conflict. People cannot justify the legal costs and impairment of their wealth. People simply do not trust that a legal separation will be fair.

While no one wants to think about separation and divorce, it is encouraging to know that there is an alternative to litigation and its pitfalls: divorce mediation.

Divorce Mediation versus Litigation

Litigation is where an individual who wants a divorce from their spouse will secure an independent legal-council who will then obtain a settlement on their behalf.

Divorce mediation, on the other hand, is where a couple seeking divorce will meet with a neutral third party, a mediator. The mediator will assist the couple to work through the issues and come to a resolution to end the marriage as amicably, and cost effectively as possible. Issues covered include, but are not limited, to the following:

• Division of property (Assets/Liabilities)
• Child support
• Spousal support
• Parenting time

So, What is Divorce Mediation Like?

During separation and divorce, couples can lose control of the life they once knew. However, mediation allows couples to preserve their identity and decision making. Couples make the decisions on the division of marital property, parenting, the format and structure of communication, and a framework to resolve issues in the future.

A divorce mediator is a facilitator who assists the parties to negotiate conflict in a discrete, diplomatic, and sensitive manner. This enables parties to resolve issues outside of court.

Mediation usually involves eight or more sessions. It will depend upon the complexity and number of issues to resolve. Communication in mediation is “off the record.” This means neither party is allowed to subsequently reveal communications made during mediation to a judge or an arbitrator if an agreement is not reached. The purpose is to encourage a free and healthy exchange of ideas during the mediation process without fear that the ideas or proposals could be used against them subsequently in court or in a hearing.

If an agreement or agreements are reached in mediation, then the divorce mediator typically translates the provisions into a resolution plan. The parties then review the resolution plan with their lawyers who provide legal advice and practical suggestions. Generally, the agreements reached in mediation are translated into a legally binding contract called a Separation Agreement. Until this occurs, the agreements reached in mediation are not binding on either party.

In the End…

Over 90% of those who go through mediation resolve their differences. The result is a peaceful divorce that reduces the long-term economic, mental health, physical, and social consequences of divorce. Separation and divorce mediation is becoming more common because it works. It is a cost-effective alternative to litigation. It is collaborative, and it allows couples to determine the best resolution, so clients can confidently move on to the next chapter of their life and not waste it fighting in court.

Not all divorce mediators are the same. At Leap! Divorce Solutions, our Divorce Mediator is certified as a Chartered Mediator (C.Med). Click HERE to find out more about why you should choose a qualified mediator.